I know in theory that this is on the Internet and anyone can read it. Intellectually I can process that information but it always surprises me when people do take the time to read the blog. It's not like I ever just say, "oh, cool" when somebody tells me they read the blog. I'm incredulous and shocked every time. The voice in my head that tells me that what I say is not important must be pretty loud because even after people tell me that they read this page I still assume that they haven't seen any of the recent posts.Some people do follow the blog, though. Some of those people are from ArenaNet. I didn't tell any of the superstars that work for that excellent company that I wrote a post about the dedication of the new novel Sea of Sorrows, but they found it anyway. The Guild Wars 2 Facebook page linked my blog which was surreal to watch. My blog got 5,000 hits in the first hour and many more after that. Ree has commented, "you're welcome" and Neil Gaiman said, "I'm really sorry," without me contacting either of them. It's almost hard to process that information.
It doesn't make writing any easier and it doesn't shut the voice up in my head that says what I'm saying isn't worth reading even though it should. It makes it harder for me to write my review of Sea of Sorrows because there are parts of the book I'm critical of or think could have been done differently and I know that it will be read. It makes me want to go back and delete the negative things I said in relation to Neil Gaiman just on the off-chance he notices. That's bizarre because one of the reasons that the people at ArenaNet like me is that I'm harsh. When I went to the ArenaNet offices I told Colin Johanson (who is a Game Designer) that I hated one of the missions he designed, but he laughed anyway. I don't dislike Sea of Sorrows or Neil Gaiman, but when I have thousands of people critically looking at what I'm saying I do have to fight a feeling like I'm being tested.