Thursday, November 15, 2012

Twilight

So I'm going to the new Twilight movie tonight, Breaking Dawn Part 2, with my friend Bruna and it is not due to peer pressure or obligation. I regret to inform you that I really want to see this film and I am extremely excited. I paid my money, I have my ticket, and my evening is free. There are a lot of other really excellent things I could do this evening, but I am choosing to go see Edward and Bella's final battle.I'm a bit ashamed because I know the series is trash, but I love it. There are certain things that are secret pleasures.

Twilight was the book series I was reading during my heart failure.If you need proof of how obsessed I was refer to here http://www.emilysatrium.org/2009/01/at-childrens.html . Like Guild Wars it was something I became engrossed in for hours a day to just escape my reality. I know that in Twilight the story is borrowed, the allegories are obvious, the dialogue is cliched, the metaphors are unoriginal, and the message is terrible for young girls, but its hard to see past the way the book made me feel to see the failure of the novel as literature. I know that Bella is one of the weakest women characters in modern literature. I know that Edward watches Bella sleep and that's creepy. I know that Bella is completely reliant upon men for her happiness. I know that Edward manipulates Bella with sex and that is wrong. I know that Bella has no life outside of caring for her father and having Edward's baby. I know that turning into a vampire is basically being raped and Rosalie was actually raped. I know that despite Twilight having a female protagonist it can barely pass the Bechdel Test. I know that the book uses almost only simple sentences. I know all that, but when Bella was depressed I was depressed. When Bella started to get the life she wanted, I started to get the life I wanted. It's disgusting, but Bella gave me hope at a time where I had very little. I wasn't convinced that I could get a man to come date me or save me, but I was convinced that sometimes even sick, uncoordinated, awkward teenagers get a chance to have a good life.

Twilight is disgraceful, but it has some nostalgic value. If I didn't go see the movie I would feel like something was missing and that somehow my own story was not yet complete. Orson Welles, the actor, said that “If you want a happy ending, that depends, of course, on where you stop your story” and at the end of the first Breaking Dawn movie the ending is gruesome and disturbing, not happy. My life is pretty fantastic at the moment and I need Twilight to end so that my ending can be happy. I started those books when I was sickly, gangly, and secluded. Now I have an army about me and I have a life. I just want Bella to get that too.

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