Wednesday, October 31, 2012


I really don't want to talk about Halloween  but I am trying to be a blogger and it is a holiday in this culture so I feel obligated. I'd rather write about something else, but today is October 31st. I have never done a Halloween post and it seems like I should. Tomorrow something different. I have a lot of good blogs coming up/written. Get excited. *sigh* Back to Halloween.

I don't need Halloween  There isn't a spiritual backdrop to it like Day of the Dead. Its not reverent or meaningful and it doesn't bring people together as well as Christmas, New Years, Thanksgiving, or Easter. If trick-or-treating was about getting to know our neighbors then I'd be accepting of it, but I went trick-or-treating for upwards of fifteen years and I know almost none of my neighbors. Halloween lacks purpose and direction. I would like to see it declare its major and describe its intentions. It might be a harvest festival or it may not. How are we to know? Its a silly holiday for mean people and greedy people with no purpose other than making me feel awkward.

Here are the costume choices for a nice young lady such as myself
  1. I dress up scary and run about playing mean tricks on people. I don't like being afraid really. I like being safe and happy and not petrified and in constant terror. I've had enough fear in my life that I don't need to experience it recreationally. 
  2. I dress up scantily and run around in no clothes with some animal ears or an oversexualized superhero costume. That's not my style because I am nineteen and I could pull it off, but I don't appreciate the slut-shaming that goes with it. I don't want random strangers to yell despicable things at me across the street.
  3. I dress as something awesome and obscure. I have dressed as Caithe before, but then nobody gets who I am and the whole point of a costume is to be recognized as clever and cool. I can't think of many costumes that are witty that most people would understand.
Those are bad options. I don't like it. So I went to yoga which makes me feel pretty and peaceful instead of dressing up.

Monday, October 29, 2012

That Doesn't Go Away

So,  when I was a little kid I thought that way more things about myself would be different when I was "grown up" than actually are different. I'm not sure what I thought would mysteriously happen to me during my teenage years, but I believed that I would have way fewer feelings about things than I had when I was a child. Turns out that my range of emotions is just about the same between the ages of four and nineteen and my self-control is only moderately improved. How do I know this? When I got the message that we were having a snow day today I literally did a happy dance. There was a lot of gesticulation and joy involved. 

A quick note that if you grow up in the north country it is called a snow day no matter what the event that causes school to suddenly and unexpectedly be cancelled is. Maybe some people would call today a Hurricane Day or a Disaster Day, but they are wrong. If it is a weekday and you sleep late, eat pancakes/waffles, and do nothing except watch TV and play video games all day than that is a snow day whether the cause for it is a blizzard, ducks raining from the sky, or bears attacking. 

I come from Queensbury School District which notoriously is the last to close. Glens Falls is always closed before Queensbury is so I am used to waiting until the morning of a storm to find out if I can wear my pajamas all day. Simmons also has high standards for closure. It's typically the last of the Colleges of the Fenway schools to close because most of the students are on or near campus. So when Simmons closed last night I was overjoyed. The feeling of winning when you get a snow day apparently does not go away when you grow up. 

I felt a little like I was cheating or skipping today, but it has made utterly wasting my time no less enjoyable. The view outside my window this morning wasn't that bad. 

It was a little windy and rainy, but the weather won't be scary until later, if at all. Honestly, I could have walked to class, but I thank the powers that be that I could sit in my room today and do violent things to pixalated baddies. Everyone be safe in the storm and have a nice snow day. 

If you need something to do, make me a list of things that do and do not go away when you grow up.
For instance:
Goes Away- 
  • Desire to eat grass
  • Ability to do splits/cartwheels
  • Licking yourself in the mirror
  • Running away from your friends and laughing at them
  • Ability to say the alphabet backwards as well as forwards
  • Unashamedly showing people your belly button 
  • Will to eat bugs
  • Touching other people's earlobes
Doesn't Go Away-
  • Joy over snow days
  • Randomly dancing
  • Attachment to good stuffed animals/books
  • Yelling “I didn’t touch it. It just broke!” after breaking something
  • Tripping and pretending it never happened
  • Occasionally crying piteously 
  • Need to play video games
  • Competing needlessly with others whether they know it or not

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Only a Sophomore

Today before class I was sitting silently staring at a book when the beautiful girl sitting next to me with her curly hair, nice outfit, and confident smile (I don't know her name) leans over and asks, "are you really only a sophomore?"

I laughed and answered "Yes?"

She then informed me "You seem really put together. Just like, you always have your shit together. Most girls I know who are sophomores don't have that. You get straight As right?"

Now I am freaking out and blushing. She's making my day, but I'm not really used to such a direct question, "Well yeah, but, well that's not good. I don't want to be obnoxious," I respond.

She continues "No. You just kind of exude that. Not like you brag or anything. It's just kind of obvious," She finishes and sits back in her chair.

I have no idea why this girl thought it was necessary to tell me this, nor do I know if its exactly true, but it was a perfect, random moment. As the saying goes, (I heard it from Jeff Grubb, game designer, world-builder extraordinaire, and author at ArenaNet) "Everyone is the hero of their own story," so obviously I think I am pretty fantastic. I suffer from  ego justification just as thoroughly as everyone else and believe I usually have my life going pretty swimmingly, but to have a complete outside observer lean over to me and say you are doing all right was better than hearing it from my entire family and my closest friends all at once. I sometimes miss events or do a mediocre job on assignments, but I am doing acceptable overall this semester considering I am only a sophomore.

The thing about it is, the emotion I believe I exude is non-stress. Whether I am as fully prepared for something as I would like to be or not, I simply have chosen not to worry about it. It's not really as important as most of my classmates make it out to be. You can only imagine if you have never been to college the amount of times I hear, "I'll die if I don't do well on this" to which I laugh. I work exceedingly hard, but it's simply not as important to me as health, life, or family. A lot of sophomores miss this I think.

To finally offer an anecdote to illustrate my point, last night I was dancing in the dining hall with a friend when the girl turned to me and said, "Don't you have homework?"

I causually responded, "Yup. I have to read a Shakespearian play by tomorrow. It was assigned yesterday. Don't worry. It'll get read."

She said, "Passive voice much? You have to read it." Needless to say, the play got read, I got eight hours of sleep, and this girl was thinking about homework while I was dancing. I like my way better. It's not perfect because sometimes I make errors, but I am generally praised as having "shit together." Sorry for the bad language, not for the attitude.