I have been thinking a lot about money recently as I have been deciding my summer plans. I realize I love money. Having it. Earning it. Holding it. Money feels like power. To this, my brother would say, "Em you really want to go into Education?" The answer is yes, though. I don't need a lot of money because I am probably one of the most frugal people I know. I just like getting a paycheck now and then. It's very empowering.
I don't really know why I am so frugal. As a kid, I never wanted for anything really. If something had a purpose or was worthwhile I was allowed to have it. My brother and I always knew what was an acceptable purchase and we had a lot of things. For instance, we would be allowed to have a computer game, but not a dirt bike because we would never use a dirt bike. This standard of usefulness still informs all of my purchases. I will be perfectly willing to go out to dinner with friends, because that is an investment in my friendship, but I would never go to Shaw's and buy food when I could just use my meal plan. That s a waste of money and I hate wasting money.
I sometimes worry that college is a waste of money too. I believe in education. That's not the issue at all. I knw that if I want to be a teacher, writer, or whatever Simmons will help me get there. I love it here and can already see myself transforming into a smarter, more critical thinker. The only issue would be that my life expectancy is kind of low. Excluding random variables like the world ending in 2012 or getting hit by a bus on Brookline Avenue I am still only scheduled to live a dozen years. I'm not being pessimistic. I want to survive and believe I will, but objectively, even excluding the increased chance of heart disease, I take poison that causes cancer, liver, and kidney disease, with every dose. If I die in only a score of years, college will have barely been worth it. If you count the days it will barely pay itself off.
I was thinking in this dreary manner when I saw on my friend's white board, "Don't Count the Days, Make the Days Count" and I thought, "you know what? I like college." College is not as hard as having a heart transplant, but it's pretty difficult. I am challenged in a new way all the time and I don't want to worry about counting the dollars and cents, the days and hours I have here. I want to go out to get chocolate at Max Brennar's tonight even though I had Easter Eggs for breakfast. I want to talk about racism even though I know I am hugely guilty of it. College is most likely barely worth it if I count the days, but if I put aside my frugality and enjoy the upcoming lecture on World War II, maybe I can make the days count. Luckily, life is more than consecutive financial calculations.